Reply to Don't redshirt-- having 18 year old seniors at home is PAINFUL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have twins who missed the cut-off (Sept 1st) in our district by about 10 days and now turned 18 a few weeks into senior year. 
They were also 6 weeks premature so at the time (age 4 when they started PK) we thrilled for the "gift of time."

Let me tell you.  Having two 18 year olds under our roof and under our rules is PAINFUL.  We are very chill parents and they are good kids: strong students, etc (in fact they just applied to top20 schools--fingers crossed) but it's clear that they could be thriving in college right now and are 100% ready for more independence.  We butt heads A LOT.  
Nothing was an issue until the last month or so---17 was great but now they're legal adults.  They want to be in the next stage of life.  And yet here they are living under our roof and having to complete another 7 months of high school and 9 months of living with mom and dad.

Just another perspective on the entire redshirting debate.  [b]Being 18 for an entire year of high school is HARD.  [/b]

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I thought you cherish every day up until they leave the nest? no?[/quote]

The parent who wrote this is anti-redshirting and usually the anti-redshirting posters are the ones who actively dislike their kids, so it tracks. [/quote]

I want my kid to have the opportunity to grow and move on to college.  Keeping a child home for an extra year for your needs is abusive.  I want my kid at a college close to us but keeping older kids home is wrong.  You need to prepare them for school and beyond and the lazy way out is holding them back. [/quote]

I don’t think anyone is talking about keeping an older child home. They are talking about kids who are near the cutoff date and struggled being the youngest in the class either academically or emotionally. In addition, there is a 4-6 month difference in cut off dates by state so from a national perspective (and your child will be competing on a national level when it comes to applying to and attending college) a child turning 5 on December 31st attending kindergarten in New York is at a disadvantage. And statistically much more likely to be diagnosed with adhd or a learning disability since they are in a developmentally innapropriate program. [/quote]

I have a youngest. Stop using them as talking points. Problem is adults have unreasonable expectations as these kids are with much older kids.  My kid is fine but as a freshman at 13 had classes with seniors who were 18-19. [/quote]

I have two “youngest” children too (and am about to have my third in NY with a late cutoff.) yes, it is about unreasonable expectations. That’s exactly the point. I “redshirted” my son with a fall birthday (I say redshirt as he turned 6 recently and while he could be in first grade here, outside of NY would simply be a normal kindergarten birthday) as I didn’t feel that kindergarten was developmentally appropriate for him last year. My daughter is a November birthday and would turn 5 the November of kindergarten. i think she would be fine whether she goes to kindergarten at 4 or 5, but do I really want my 4 year old sitting from 8-3pm every day, with only a 1 hour break for lunch and recess? Kindergarten is not what it used to be - it’s a lot more academic and sedentary. 4 going on 5 year olds should have more play and my son got that doing a 5s program last year which also focused on literacy and math (more of what k used to be when we were growing up.)[/quote]

Most kids at 4 are in a full day preschool or k so your logic makes no sense and you holding your kids back is why it’s a problem for mine.  Before K we actually prepared our kid with a 9-3 academic preschool.  They had no issues at all and had special needs.  And, you forget these young kids don’t stay young so what about when they are teens.  If a four year old cannot handle a 8-3 or 9-3 program, parents or preschool failed them.  K was always academic.  It should be academic.  It’s school.  But, I worked with my kids at home plus preschool and they had reading and basic academics by age 4.  [/quote]

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