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Reply to "Asian Parents Broke Me"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He shouldn’t have started the video talking about the art and piano classes, they were weak examples. Thats normal parenting when you kids are interested in something. All the academic pressures and all free time being dedicated to getting ahead academically is messed up though. [/quote] I think you missed the point. He shared his experience with the art and piano classes to help viewers understand that he was never allowed to do something [i]just for fun[/i] or to meet new friends with similar interests. Every single thing he did involved formal instruction and, most importantly, competitions. He was never allowed just to learn or develop new skills; he had to [i]master[/i] everything he tried and then demonstrate that he was the best. It wasn’t enough to do well. He had to dominate the competition or feel like a disappointment to his parents. They sucked the joy out of everything — art, piano, school, even being successful. He was a puppet and they pulled the strings. He admits that this kind of parenting often leads to high achievement and success, but he wants people to know that it doesn’t work for every child. It made him beyond stressed, to the point of physical illness. It prevented him from developing social skills through typical interactions with peers. He has no happy childhood memories. There’s no activity that he loves.[/quote] Boo hoo. I was afraid of pressuring my kid too much, and was careful not to do so. And yet, he still has no social skills, massive social anxiety, few friends, and no happy childhood memories that he can think of (he can't seem to remember any of the fun things we did, all the places I took him to, all the days we spent at the playground, all the millions of playdates and toys and parties). He's an OK student but has hardly any extracurriculars, since I let him quit band, orchestra, swim, piano, and everything else he didn't want to do. Now he's stressed about getting into college, and blames me for letting him quit. You can't win. Kids are who they are, and they need to stop blaming their parents and take some ownership of their own success. These kids who are whining about this stuff are old enough to make their own choices and their own success, and we've done our jobs as best we can. It's up to them now.[/quote]
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