Reply to What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress.

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Reply to "What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He made the decision to leave so I am not willing to present this as "we made the decision not to stay married". Our dc is coming home for Thanksgiving. DH is in the process of moving out. Advice appreciated.[/quote]

This would not be a surprise to your DC. He must have sensed that this was a loveless marriage even before he left for college? After-all, both of you were sharing the same house when he was growing up.

My advice is to make it as painless as possible for everyone.  Make sure that the financial obligations are met by your DH, make sure that the house is in your name. Make sure that your son always have a home with you 100% and your son gets to decide how much or how little time he spends with his dad and new AP.

You make your family with your son.  I hope you are ok without your DH.

In your shoes, I would let DH know that there is no need for a divorce, he could move out of the house and stay away from  the house and live in with his girlfriend.  He could co-parent with his AP as much or as little as he wants but he would have to pay the bills as before and he could have as much visitation as he wanted.  I would keep the kids with me, and I would sock away money to set the kids up for life.   I would become the Jennifer Garner and the Gwyneth Paltrow to his Ben Affleck and Chris Martin.   I would never up-end my kids lives for the father. Or for that matter, any man. [/quote]

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