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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're saying no to everything your sister proposes. So what plan do you actually think is good? If you want to protect your relationship with your sister, come to the table with something other than "no no no, me me me".[/quote]

What? No! The OP does not need to forego her family’s financial well being to buy her mother a condo.

OP all you can do is set the boundary and be clear what you can or can’t do. Sadly, you can’t control how others react. It’s not your sisters place to determine what your family should sacrifice for your mother. [/quote]

Of course she doesn't. [b]But if she wants a good relationship with her sister, then she needs a problem-solving attitude[/b] and should propose something that is realistic that she will be comfortable with. Shooting down the sister's ideas and offering no constructive input will damage the sibling relationship.

[/quote]
NP.  No.  OP is dealing with a new cancer diagnosis and presumably a lot of rough treatments.  OP's sister is kind of awful for dumping all of this on OP and expecting OP to be able to provide significant physical and financial help at this time.  If OP is assuming a shortened lifespan, then OP is much more in crisis than either the mom or sister.  They should be getting together and discussing how to support OP rather than expecting OP to support the mom right now.

OP, it's okay for you to tell your sister and mom that you're dealing with cancer treatments and don't have the bandwidth right now to help out.  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 years ago and going through the surgeries, radiation, medications, etc. as well as the significant out of pocket expense, there's no way I would have had the capacity to deal with anyone else's problems.  [/quote]

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