Reply to Husbands former AP wearing necklace he gave her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most APs turn outright bitter and nasty when the guy doesn’t leave the wife or starts paying them less attention.  They will do and say things to try and hurt the wife to get back at the husband.  Story as old as time.  I could totally see her wearing it out of spite and to fk with the married couple. [/quote]
Not true always. Most don't think he would leave their wife. They just want to have fun and be treated well.
She is wearing it because he never treated her badly. She would not be wearing it if he were bad to her. [/quote]

He was pretty bad to her too.  Lots of lies. And dropped her immediately, which couldn’t have felt good. She is unmarried, never married and wanted to have kids.  I think she was naive but not inherently a bad person. But yes at the end she did everything she could to hurt me and to get back at him , which may be why I “monitor” her [/quote]

I'm the earlier PP who is Team OP -- the one who pleaded for you to end the social media looks. It's good that you're self-aware about why you're "monitoring" her online; now please take it to the next step and go from being aware that it's toxic to you, to ending the behavior. You can do this. If you have not seen a therapist (solo! not couples therapy) for yourself, consider it; you need help navigating the emotions and the feeling you "need to understand" the affair. No amount of "understanding" will make you feel better in the end, OP.

You're part of the way there but an objective professional like a therapist will help you come up with ways to divert yourself when you feel that "I want to know what she's doing" feeling. [/quote]

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