Reply to What typically happens to a violent kid in the classroom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]15 years ago or so, there was a boy in my DC's kindergarten who clearly needed more assistance than the standard classroom was equipped for. However, his parents enrolled him in K and denied that there was any problem at all. In spite of many incidents, the parents refused to agree to meet for an IEP that would have given this child 1:1 support. So the school had to work through a long drawn out process of creating a paper trail to eventually, like a year later, force the issue in a manner that would stick and not get them sued. In the meantime, the kindergarten teacher has a nervous breakdown and quit, so  the series of substitutes basically spent the year trying to keep the other kids safe from this kid. I hope he eventually got the help he needed in spite of his parents.[/quote]

My family had a similar experience with a student beginning in 1st grade. I don't know what happened behind the scenes with the parents and child, other than suspensions from time to time. Early on, I went to the school to discuss the physical violence inflicted on my own son, I was basically told that I should not make a big deal of it because the child had a difficult home life. I was made to feel that it was "entitled" to not want my kid to choked during lunch.

Each year there were multiple kids who were targets of this boy whose parents requested classroom changes, making the entire grade chaotic. One other boy threatened suicide in 3rd grade due to relentless bullying by the violent student and wound up changing schools. By 5th grade, the student injured his teacher, who wound up having to go on leave for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, I was struggling trying to keep my own son with ADHD on the right path. He would get punished for speaking out or for missing assignments while observing that there were virtually no consequences for the other boy's violent behavior and bullying. It was so difficult. How do you instill discipline and respect in an environment that is unsafe and undisciplined, and where you see the adults failing to protect students? At one point, after having been slammed to the ground on a blacktop, my son asked to spend recess in the office because he didn't feel safe outside. To him, I was constantly on his case to do his work, hand it in on time, and be respectful, yet the adults in his life (including me) let much worse behavior slide with minimal consequences. Before middle school, I'm not sure what can be done in that situation. I believe that the student did receive an alternative placement during the middle school years. As a fellow SN mom, I can attest that my job was made exponentially more difficult due to a school environment that allowed one student to disrupt so many lives.[/quote]

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