Reply to Why don’t parents just cut stand-offish adult children out of their will?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, some do. And others still love their children no matter what.

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So money=love?

My division hasn’t been equal because of a larger family and big age span. The older children have received much already, younger have more needs. Ultimately it is relatively equal, but the older children get more before death.

Then came the day I discovered adult DD stole money (not a small sum) from me and from her youngest sibling. She refused to deal with it. Throughout, I told her, look if I am wrong, show me the receipts. But she had none. In the fallout, I discovered she had conned me throughout much of college. I had been generous with her and her BF whose family was not well off. I was not strict with record keeping, and I trusted her. She’d had me reimburse her for things 2x or pay for things 2x. In some cases she had me pay for something and later had me reimburse her saying she had to borrow from a friend’s mother.  Then she deliberately provoked an unstable family member to become involved which caused more distress for me and for the elementary sibling. Next she said she wanted to repair the relationship, but when I offered family therapy at her convenience/comfort level, she declined and [b]sent an ugly email complaining of things that never happened[/b]. She continues to try and stir up trouble in the extended family. I just say, “Yes, it’s true Larla and I had a falling out. It’s very sad and I prefer not to discuss it.” If anyone presses, I just repeat, “It’s very sad,” and I change the subject.

So, she is not going to inherit anything more. This is not a subject of discussion, there is no attack letter from me telling her she won’t inherit, and only the attorney knows, so she will not hear from anyone else. I love her and I wish her a good life. I do not feel I owe her an inheritance.

In our family, the children who take care of the parents, grandparents etc have always received more. I think this is fair. If you happen to like one child more than the other that is not a great reason to make things unequal. People have a right to leave their own money as they see fit. It should not be used as a bargaining or pressuring tool, but the idea that everything must be equal no matter what is not one I agree with. [/quote]

It's possible that you and her disagree about whether or not those things happened, but nothing ultimately excuses her theft. Still, she'll probably end up challenging the will and harassing your other kids in the future.[/quote]

And that is why you don't completely leave her out of the will. You stipulate that you are giving her $100 and outline why she is not to get any more.  Otherwise yes she will attempt to steal from your other kids inheritance.  But there are legal ways to ensure this doesn't happen 
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