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Eldercare
Reply to "What's the best elder model to unburden our own children"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Absolutely I will choose to go to Switzerland or hopefully in a least one state in the United States aid in dying will be available for everyone who wants it. Seeing both my mother and aunt live with dementia has been awful. Both my cousin and I are bearing the brunt of the work while we both have one semi-supported sibling and one estranged sibling who won't help out or visit because they are too busy. It has broken apart our family. I don't want that to happen to my kids. I have no desire to live with dementia and experience that nightmare. I also don't want to burn through 1 million dollars that my mother will have used by the time she dies. She is now on year 7 with seemingly no end in sight. She is eventually going to end up spending all her money and ending up in a state run nursing home. She has five grandchildren who could have used that money for graduate school, a down payment on a house, etc. I would much rather any grandchildren have that opportunity and advantage. [/quote] I don’t get the $1MM comment…is it different if your mom was healthy but decided to join a $150k per year country club and live it up? Aren’t the parents responsible for their own children?[/quote] I wrote the post about the million dollars. If my mother spent 150K at a country club I would be ecstatic. If she had the mental ability to travel around the world on a private jet and see the gorillas (her dream) or take a cruise down the Nile and see pyramids and spent 1 million dollars it would be amazing. If she wanted to go spend a million dollars on cooking lessons in Italy or drinking wine in France, that would be awesome. It is just tragic that she is having to spend it in a way she absolutely never wanted to live. She obsesses about people stealing, can't remember talking on the phone to her sister once a few minutes have passed, she can barely walk, barely talk, she has delusions people are in her apartment in her assisted living place. She called me and told me my father called her and wanted a divorce (he has been dead 15 years). She talked about giving her grandchildren money for college and cars when they could drive. We always told her to spend the money on herself and die without a penny. I would never ever want a million dollars to go toward keeping me alive 10 years not remembering anything, physically weak and confused, etc. It is a complete waste of money. I would never do that to my kids or hopefully future grandkids. [/quote] You should be ashamed. Tragedy is not that your mom got old and had to use HER OWN MONEY for her care. Tragedy is that you think your kids or you should have used that money. I have seen greedy children like you and you just disgust me. You keep harping about cars, homes, college for your kids that she could have funded. Well, that is your responsibility, not hers. If there is something you can criticize your mom about, it is that she raised you. [/quote] You are absolutely wrong. It is a tragedy that she spent 10 years and all of her money in way that she wouldn't have chosen to if she had the ability to choose. I'm sorry, PP. Your mom's bucket list sounds amazing and I bet she was an incredible woman.[/quote]
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