Reply to MIL confronted me and wasn’t ready for my response

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your MIL baited you and you fell for it. Now she has more fodder for her gossip. In the future, a simple, “what on earth are you talking about” is a much better response. You’ve just affirmed all the terrible things she thinks.[/quote]

NP. So you are actively suggesting that OP gaslight MIL. OK.

If there's distance or tension, grown people with good intentions should be able to talk about it. Now we know MIL is neither mature nor well-intentioned, but it was reasonable for OP to try rather than to gaslight and be fake. [/quote]

Neither the mother in law or OP handled this situation like adults.  If OP’s quote is exactly (or close to) what the MIL said then MIL didn’t start the conversation from a place of wanting to resolve anything and because of that it’s not worth engaging. OP’ response was to attack.  I’m not suggesting that OP doesn’t have a reason to be upset but I don’t think she handled it well.  You don’t have to agree with me, it’s just my opinion.[/quote]

I just never realized actively suggesting gaslighting could possibly be considered "handling something well." [/quote]

Well now you know.  Youre trying to justify a confrontation and as can be seen from OP’s post airing her laundry list of all the things MIL has done to her didn’t make anything better, hence the posting in DCUM so ok.  I personally think timing of the conversation is more important, I also think restraining one’s emotions is also important buying myself time to think through how I’d like to respond rather than being ambushed on a family vacation is more important but you should feel free go about your interactions in the way that you think is best for you and  I’ll be sure to go about mine in the way I deem appropriate for me. Not a big deal. And no, no matter hat you say I don’t agree with you.[/quote]

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