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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]the person can deserve to be yelled at AND the yelling can be dysfunctional, both at the same time.

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No one deserves to be yelled at. The abusive a holes on this thread need to calmly use their words or think of an alternate solution. I don’t feel one bit sorry for women who choose to  overlook all sorts of red flags when dating, marry anyway, and have kids with a useless DH. [/quote]

So why all the pity for the man who got himself into this situation? Just say you don’t like women.[/quote]

I like smart women who own their decisions, not the whiners on here who blame their DH for everything, including their own bad behavior. If I saw a DH on here whining I’d blame him too, so no need for your victim mentality.[/quote]

for someone who presumably believes himself to be smart, you have zero ability to learn about what actually happens in some types of marriages. so I guess your purpose for being here is to tell everyone how superior you are. that’s great, you seem like a great guy! [/quote]

There’s nothing special happening in these marriages that doesn’t happen in millions of other marriages. The only difference is the way the people handle things and the personality disordered people on here are obviously not managing well if they’re yelling at their spouses. They have no one to blame but themselves. Own your behavior instead of attacking others.[/quote]

Ok you’re right. Whenever a woman yells or gets mad or “nags,” that absolves the man of all responsibility.

(Actually this is exactly what my exDH believed: that unless/until I was “nicer” he didn’t need to do anything at home. He didn’t deny what he was doing but literally told me it was my fault. Mind you I wasn’t a yeller but he certainly believed me being “nicer” was the whole issue. He tanked our relationship that way. And of course for himself, he had zero issues with escalating physically and never apologizing.)[/quote]

If you’re not a yeller and your DH escalates physically, obviously he’s the problem.[/quote]

But I have yelled at times and said harsh words. Is it all my fault? And of course when you see a couple where the woman gets mad you have ZERO knowledge of what happens behind closed doors. [/quote]

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