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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's also crucial to teach your kids to have these skills. We all knew the person in the dorm who couldn't do their own laundry or couldn't do basic sewing or ironing. And I think many of us have found excuses to leave when confronted with a date or friend's filthy apartment[/quote] How hard do you think it is to clean a toilet? Or frankly do laundry? I never cleaned growing up. We had a maid who came every day. I never did laundry and I didn't even make my bed because she did. When I got to college I was fully able to make my bed and do my laundry. And I was also able to clean a toilet when I moved into my first apartment. These are not difficult skills. [/quote] Same. My kids never did it. We had a weekly cleaning service and I'm a good at maintaining in between their visits. Kids weren't required to do house chores as their schools had long hours, activities, commute, homework and advance curriculum with regular testing. They only had weekends to relax and and socialize.[/quote] My kids have all that, minus the long commute. They take turns cleaning their bathroom on a weekly rotating basis. They also make their own beds and put their dishes in the dishwasher. These [i]are[/i] the most basic of chores, which is why they're expected to do them. The point is to teach personal responsibility and respect for shared space, which is part of being a good family member / future roommate.[/quote] I am an immigrant and I disagree. No personal responsibility is learned by kids by doing assigned chores in this way in American households. Usually , the kids do a half-ass job and parents are ok with it because they themselves don't have to do it. That's all. Mostly, it is dereliction of parental duty in the guise of delegation of duties. The most effective way to teach children adulting skills is to teach it to them many, many times and make them assist you while you are doing the chores. Also, if you have raised your kids in an immaculate house, if your kids always wear freshly laundered and ironed clothes, if your kids eat balanced, well prepared, delicious and freshly cooked food for all meals, if your kids have seen you hosting graciously - they will learn these things and when they leave your household to start their own, they will be well prepared. My kids did no chores at home but knew how to do all these chores when they went to college. They kept a clean room, were able to host parties, launder their clothes, make their beds, iron their clothes etc. and teach others too. They were the only ones in a dorm suite shared by 4 kids who changed their bed sheets every week. Why? Because they were raised with clean bed linens that got changed weekly, and they were grossed out by dirty bedsheets. Another similar parenting fallacy I have heard from my American neighbors is when they encourage their high school kids to date and have sex. The rationale is that they will become better romantic partners with practice and therefore will become better spouses when they marry. LOL. How is that working out? A huge number of marriages in the US ends in divorce. Usually kids coming from intact families will not divorce. Teach your kids to concentrate on their education so that they can go to college, make a good living, marry another educated person and keep their marriage intact to give a better future to their kids - and you do that by your own example. Similarly, teach your kids to want a clean home and you do that by your own example. Monkey see, monkey do. [/quote]
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