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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's a little secret -

I am Asian and grew up with the kind of parents that slapped me silly unless I got straight As and did everything par excellence.  As soon as I was out of the house, everything went downhill from there.

There is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING that can replace self initiation.  You just have to want that for yourself.  The Asian families you see whose kids are so top of the game?  It's a cultural thing.  It's not forced, it cannot be forced and if it is, it won't last.

[b]It's the reason why Americans pretty much suck at everything and still come out ahead.[/b]  Because American culture stresses independent thought and actions.  You have to want it for yourself, no matter how hard, how painful, how much sacrifice - most do not.  The ones who do will succeed beyond wildest dreams.  This is something that cannot be taught but is somewhat cultural to a degree.  In many parts of the world, there is an appreciation of excellence that you don't find in this country because it is so wealthy and easy to find opportunities.  However, when it comes down to kids and how they do during the teens years - it's still up to them.

Another example is that while all my parents friends forced their kids to grow up with the language, my parents did not care. However, as I wanted to be fluent in my native language, even to this day, I go out of my way to speak the language on my own.  It's nothing they taught me but it's something I made sure I knew how to do by self study.

Let your kids be OP.  One day they may learn for themselves they want more but until that day comes, you have to let them be as long as they are doing fine.  There really is nothing wrong with getting by and being happy.[/quote]

It's very unclear what the reason for that is and whether it will continue.[/quote]

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