Reply to ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted

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Reply to "ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Sending an 18 yo to a glorified 4 year vacation is highly atypical of human history, you will agree? Throughout all but the most recent past, this 18 yo student would either had been a parent or self-sustaining member of society, or both. It is this extremely weird college period where children are play acting adults - i.e. making all decisions but not supporting themselves - that creates this extremely weird dynamic even when everybody is NT and all relationships are otherwise ordinary.

There is no way I could have spoken disrespectfully and cruelly to my own mother while she was still paying my own bills. I would just have been cut off. But here we are advised to take a beating because "the child has moved on". "Let them grow up" - but don't forget to pay their bills![/quote]

I suppose the problem is that you consider college a "glorified vacation", and perhaps it is one, when students get admitted not based on their intellectual abilities, but who can pay. It certainly was not intended as one and is not one in many other countries, where admittance is based on merit. As you can see, turning higher education into indoctrination camps has its cost. And you obviously must have been too stupid to attend one, if that's how you understand college. And you must be the poster who also holds inheritance out as a carrot: you must do as I say or you'll not get my MoNeY. You know what, then stop paying the bills. I'm sure this DD will figure out her own ways as many have before her. In the end, everybody's sick and tired of such "mothers" with your endless drama. People like you are disrespectful, cruel and with mental issues, and your adult children cannot wait to never hear from you again. That said, this DD was not disrespectful or cruel in responding to crazy emails and texts in any way, the best thing to do with the crazy is to ignore. Nobody owes you anything. [/quote]

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