Reply to ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted

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Reply to "ASD and Empty Nesting-Accepting the Relationship With Your Child is Not the One You Wanted"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sure, a mother is not perfect, but this is a classic case of a emotionally needy mother and a young adult who tries to establish boundaries and live THEIR life. Can you imagine starting college with all its challenges and receiving crazy calls/messages from your mom who's having a nervous breakdown, because they cannot handle you moving on? [b]There's nothing misogynistic about viewing adults as safe havens. It's been like this for all of human history [/b]-- remember how the elders were the wise? [/quote]

Sending an 18 yo to a glorified 4 year vacation is highly atypical of human history, you will agree? Throughout all but the most recent past, this 18 yo student would either had been a parent or self-sustaining member of society, or both. It is this extremely weird college period where children are play acting adults - i.e. making all decisions but not supporting themselves - that creates this extremely weird dynamic even when everybody is NT and all relationships are otherwise ordinary.

There is no way I could have spoken disrespectfully and cruelly to my own mother while she was still paying my own bills. I would just have been cut off. But here we are advised to take a beating because "the child has moved on". "Let them grow up" - but don't forget to pay their bills![/quote]

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