Reply to Ugh- text from my daughter at lunch

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not yet a high school kid parent, just middle school, but I would lay off any “tough love”. Sitting alone sucks, she knows it sucks, just let her have a safe haven at home with her family instead of stressing her out more.[/quote]

High school teacher AND a mom of a rising 9th here- I agree. 9th grade is so daunting for some kids. The structure of middle school is gone and high school feels so big and so unknown. No tough love. Encourage her that it WILL get better and the first couple days are rough for everyone even if it doesn’t look that way. Be her soft spot to land. [/quote]

Could you maybe ask the school if you could go there and sit with her for lunch until she makes friends? [/quote]

I’m the HS teacher you’re responding to and I think this is the worse possible advice. They NEED to learn to navigate this environment without you. That may mean branching out to make friends when that’s hard or it may mean eating lunch and then hanging out in the library with a book , but in high school, mom CANNOT come sit and eat lunch with you. That’s not helpful at all and actually make things worse. It’s hard on them sometimes to adjust, and that means it’s hard for us, but being the soft space means listening and giving empathy, not rushing in to sit with them and ultimately torpedo their chances of adjusting to their new school and situation. [/quote]

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