Reply to Children of parents in sexless marriage - how did it affect your relationships and marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]I knew my parents didn't have sex because they never slept in the same room (since I was a toddler), they pretty much hated each other and never touched each other, my father was a totally unemotional or loving person even with me, and my mom was miserable, and it was obviously clear they weren't have sex. He never even hugged her. They never got divorced. Their marriage got somewhat better when they got older. I did want them to get divorced. I think my dad is asexual and never would have remarried, but he had a lot of money, and my mom "married up," and I think she was terrified of being poor again (even though she had her own successful business).

It made me feel that I would never want that kind of marriage. But now I am almost 50 and in a sexless marriage. The difference is that it wasn't always that way and that my husband and I still like each other. The passion just faded over a long time.

Looking back, I don't think I really cared or thought about whether my parents had sex. That was not the issue. It was that my dad was emotionally cold to my mom and treated her badly and that made me upset. I think your children likely care more about if treat each other warmly, which is not clear from the post.

Eventually, most people end up in sexless relationships--or mostly sexless relationships. What hopefully remains in the companionship and caring. So, I would be much more concerned about my kids seeing coldness or meanness than knowing I wasn't having sex. They don't really want to know about your sex life anyway. [/quote]

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