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[quote=Anonymous]Op, not sure if you are still reading but I’m ina similar situation but I’m ok with it.

I’m the DW, make about $200k, three elementary age kids, do 99% of house and kid stuff, and DH equity partner at V10 firm.

You don’t have a big law problem, you have a DH problem. My DH started in biglaw, made and saved a bunch in his first 5 years, went to government (when we met) and was there for about 10 years. We finished paying off student loans (me) and started having kids and DH started being unhappy with his government job and decided to try big law again (he also tried in house positions but it’s not a lot more money than government and more job uncertainty).

DH has now been in big law for almost the entirety of us having kids and while he makes a boatload of money (he’s good at business development and makes mid-seven figures) and works a lot, he loves his work. He bills more than the average partner at his firm by 300 hrs. He is much happier than when he was in government and had more time for his hobbies and the kids.

When I met DH I thought he would stay in government forever, and I’m in the nonprofit space so I’m not super motivated career-wise about money. DH obviously makes enough now that he could cut back (we save a lot even with a very nice lifestyle) his hours and work less, and then get paid less, but *he doesn’t want to.*

I also don’t want to quit my job, so I get it.

But I am married to someone who is a good father, a kind person, and a loving husband, AND is also someone who doesn’t want to work less and is ok with those trade offs in terms of family life and balance. Those are choices he is making, he isn’t some patsy who was tricked into become a big law partner. [/quote]

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