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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Ten-year-old boys -- mind blown"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gentle parenting IS the problem because it’s nearly impossible to do correctly. When are we going to admit this as a society? It’s like all the communism apologists who insist that the Soviet Union and Mao’s China weren’t really communism because they were corrupt and doing it wrong and communism could still work if done perfectly. Maybe systems that are too difficult for average people to reliably execute are not good. Gentle parenting requires perfect parental emotional regulation, patience, and time. [b]You aren’t ever allowed to raise your voice or get mad.[/b] You have zero in the moment strategies for dealing with bad behavior (it’s all about meeting your kids emotional needs so allegedly they won’t act out[b]). And because you can’t be harsh you have to repeat yourself and your boundaries 1000x and physically force little kids to do things when they refuse because you have no other recourse (no yelling, no time out, no punishment, no shaming).[/b] It’s EXHAUSTING. Why on earth do we think it’s realistic to expect this won’t just devolve into resentful, permissive parenting for most?[/quote] So you dont know what gentle parenting is... thats what you just admitted. [/quote] Janet Lansbury calls it “confident moment”. When kid flat out refuses to put shoes on, she advocates saying something like, “I see you’re having trouble putting your shoes on.” Then putting the shoes on for the kid. That is literally exactly what gentle parenting tells you to do: kid refuses, you physically “help” them do the thing. You can also allow “natural consequence” which is actually parent punishment, because it involves letting bad things happen to kids that ultimately inconvenience parents. I absolutely do know what gentle parenting is. I’ve read all the Lansbury, watched and subscribed to all the Dr. Becky. And you know what? If that’s not enough to understand and implement gentle parenting, then you have proved my point that it’s a terrible system because regular parents without a PhD in development can’t implement it![/quote] Lansbury has zero actual credentials. Letting a kid disobey with zero consequences is a bad path. [/quote] +1. Do not tolerate bad behavior. If one does, then it reinforces to the child that bad behavior is tolerated. [/quote] Ah, sure. And what exactly is the gentle parenting-approved method for “Not tolerating” bad behavior?[/quote]
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