Reply to If you don’t have more than 2 children, why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH was one of 4 kids and thought it was too many. Was clear before marriage that two was his max. Two was my minimum, so that made it a pretty simple decision. [/quote]

Curious what your DH's birth order was. I am one of four as well and it's interesting to see how different our takes on that being a good or bad number of kids are:

Eldest had 2 kids
Second had 4 kids
Third had 1 kid
Fourth had 1 kid

I always think of this when people talk about the positives and negatives of having 3+ kids. I think people forget that siblings tend to have very different experiences within a large family and that sometimes the benefits of big families get concentrated in one or two kids. Which also means the downsides of being in a big family can get concentrated in one or two kids. I think willingness to have more than 2 kids requires you to believe that it will be good for all your kids and in my experience this is unlikely -- the more kids you have the more likely it becomes that at least one of your kids will struggle due to being lost in the shuffle.[/quote]

DH is third. His siblings kids:

Eldest had 5
Second had 2 
Third had 2 
Youngest has none, and won't.

The oldest and youngest complain the most about their childhood/family dynamic, and have the most and least kids. The middle two are just pretty mellow and understanding. I'm not sure how much of that is birth order vs personality, but I agree that birth order really does affect life experiences. I was the oldest in my family so I didn't believe that growing up, but now as a parent I really do. [/quote]

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