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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spend this weekend making up a spreadsheet of ALL THE THINGS you can imagine that need to be handled — laundry, groceries, pharmacy, cooking, each cleaning task, managing finances, cars, the yard, sick days for kids, doctors appointments, camp registration, and on and on.

Ask your husband to sit down with you. Write down the hours he typically works. Write down how his PTO works. Assume you have a 9-5 schedule with commuting. Map out the hours in a one week period and figure out how it all gets done with each of your “free time.” Like will he grocery shop at 9pm every Tuesday? Will you work out at 5am? Will he chop all the veggies while you both batch cook on the weekend? And if he basically looks at you with a blank stare like he cannot possibly participate in any of this, really think about why you are going back to work.

And ALL THESE MEN who claim to be SO VERY IMPORTANT for every meeting in their office are usually lying. Frankly, the more senior you are, the more flexibility you should have.[/quote]

This. It is a math problem. You need to really force him to grapple with it in detail.

But don't be surprised if you have some major disagreements over what is essential vs. nonessential. He will try to say things aren't important and in his head, they are your leisure activities.[/quote]

And also suggest that he find a message board for dads where he can crowdsource how dads handle this. Because just the fact that you seem to be the only one of you thinking about this really says something!! [/quote]

Amen to this! [/quote]

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