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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a FSO I have no qualms in saying that many FSOs (men especially) seem to specialize in pretending, including and often especially to their spouses, that they are far more important than they actually are and that their time is more valuable than others’….it’s a stark contrast with DCUM-land where even a GS-15 (FS-1 equivalent) is often considered to be the more flexible/default parental role.[/quote]

Also an FSO and I definitely agree with this male inflated ego issue.  But, that said, there are many DC jobs which are not very flexible at all, especially some of the regional bureaus.  I've had jobs where I had to suddenly come in on the weened to draft paper, extended hours planning for special events/VIP visits, etc.  And these are not even FS-1 jobs, but equivalent of like GS-13.  Certainly some State bureaus are becoming better at work-life balance but many offices (and supervisors) have a long way to go.

Additionally, it's rare that an FS trailing spouse would be able to maintain the sort of high-powered, well-paid, big deal job that DCUM breadwinners seem to have.  Usually because of the moves and career disruption, the trailing spouse's career does tend to be the more part-time or flexible one in the family.[/quote]

Pp here and I agree that there are definitely days/periods of inflexibility for most regional bureau jobs, but as others have suggested that’s where the give and take comes in. It’s almost certainly not the case that op’s husband has zero flexibility to ever be the one to take time off to care for a sick child or take them to a medical appointment or activity, despite what he may want her to believe.

Regarding your latter point, agree completely regarding the challenges of career disruption but from the initial post it sounds like for whatever reason op doesn’t anticipate that their family will have overseas postings for the foreseeable future so it makes more sense to prioritize her establishing a career.[/quote]

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