Reply to Once in a lifetime job opportunity but DS with SN

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, you should do it. And don’t take this the wrong way, but you should also lower your expectations for what you need to do wrt your DS. It’s OK not to maximize every single therapy and possibility. You sound like an amazing mom who will continue to be amazing but it is simply not rational to forgo this opportunity because you’re killing yourself to be super SN mom. My kid has more mild needs and my career isn’t the greatest - but tbh I’m kind of lazy anyway and wasn’t meant to have a high flying career anyway. [/quote]

Op here. Thank you! You’re probably right. I’ve gotten more intense around DS as we’ve been leading up to kindergarten which feels like a big inflection point.

My only fear is I do feel a bit of imposter syndrome….like I can’t believe I landed this job? I’m not the highest energy person. I just have a super niche skill set. But I quit my job 6 months ago because I couldn’t handle working my normal job (not super cool Scandinavian job) and my DS (and other kids). It’s scary to think about going back to work, moving overseas, etc. But I have truly been preparing for this for 20 years….like ever since college. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t trying to make this happen.[/quote]

Honestly, I see you lasting 6 months at the most. If you can't handle US + normal job there is no way you are surviving 3 years overseas. [/quote]

Cool it, PP.  OP has a great opportunity and she is rightfully nervous. Can we just be supportive?

Scandinavia is far more family friendly than US, so quality of life will be better.  My only slight concern is that they don't really have an emphasis on preventive medicine and they can be anti-vax.  As a country, their healthcare system is better so they can absorb the schocks of getting sick, and work sick leave is better.  Just make sure that your community will get down syndrome.  [/quote]

Op is a troll. More "details" keep coming out, not answering specific questions, the basic story doesn't add up. [/quote]

DP. She's answering some questions by providing additional details. Have some patience. [/quote]

Um, she's not. Why is this not do-able in a few years? How is the 70 hour per week assistance being paid-out of pocket or by the company? How kids are there really? Why does it think this with so much travel is possible if op quit her job 6 months ago? [/quote]

Op here. I’m not a troll. I don’t know how answering these questions proves whether I am a troll (couldn’t I just make up the answers?). But here ya go:

I can’t just defer the job because the job wouldn’t allow it. I’ve also accepted it already and they are expecting me to go, so backing out will burn bridges.

The nanny/au pair assistance is what I’ve priced out that we could afford and we would be paying it out of pocket. I don’t know for sure that we’d have 2 employees but it’s something that would be possible if needed.

I have 2 kids.

[b]I think the core of my question is whether I’m up to the task of doing this. I obviously have concerns and in my own mind can’t tell if this is imposter syndrome or fear or my own intuition telling me not to proceed. [/b]That’s part of why I made my post. I did decide to take a time out from working 6 months ago, and yeah I’m scared. But I’ve also always worked and have had a good career so it’s not as if I don’t know what it means to be a working parent.[/quote]

I think the question is why are you still so exhausted when you don't have a job right now? Is it a physical health problem, mental health problem, or is your son just that high-needs?

I have a hard time seeing you having a job, doing everything that the nanny or two nannies don't do (for both kids), having a marriage, and not being exhausted again. With the added difficulty that it's all in another country and you have to start from scratch finding new providers for everything.

What happens if one of your childcare people suddenly quits or isn't available?[/quote]

Op here. It’s a good question-why am I THIS exhausted? I mean, while I’m not technically working a full time job, the interview process for this new role was grueling and time intensive and took almost a year, with two separate week long interviews that required travel. I also am working but just part time, doing contractor work in my field like 10-20 hours/week. I don’t have full time childcare anymore since leaving my full time job so I am often doing parent things. My DS also had a lot of medical stuff come up this year and that and the IEP process going into kindergarten for next year was a huge time suck. I’ve also been dealing with depression and anxiety but they have improved greatly in the last several months with medication and therapy. [/quote]

Depression and living alice that doesn't interest you - both are exhausting. [/quote]

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