Reply to Feeling shame for wanting sex without relationships

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Women enjoy a renewed sex drive past 40 especially if they are divorced. Divorced women past 40 are having the best time of their lives. They be f***king so many younger men and having all kind of orgasms. I am sure my ex wife is having the time of her life. I am 45 and I will be blunt and honest I don't have the stamina or sex drive of a 24 years old man. I am in great shape and very active but I am just not the same sexually. At my age now I stopped asking women after sex how they enjoyed cause they will probably lie to me. I wish I could go back to being 25 I would have had more sex if I knew I would have a so so libido at 45.

So if you are a woman in your 40s, 30s, 50s go f***k as many younger guys as you can because you are lucky enough that your sexual peak is much later than us guys. I am not kidding my ex's wife pussy fell better tighter and wetter at 43 than 33.

So OP don't feel any shame. When it comes to sex I want everyone to enjoy it as much as they can. Sex is great![/quote]

Brother. You are doing it wrong. I’m almost 50. 20lbs overweight. Don’t work out pretty much a couch potato most of the times. When I have sex 2-3 times a week it’s on average 6-8hours long and the older 40+ women love it. The under 30 girls can’t keep up usually. I tend to avoid the 30s girls as they are often much more relationship marriage and baby oriented.

No 20yr old stud your ex wife is banging does that. He pile drives her a few times a night like a porn star maybe. Is he able to keep her on 6hour wave of orgasmic pleasure? Doubt it.

The secret? I learned that amazing sex is not just pumping away piv. Or even going down on each other for hours on end. It’s a continuous exchange of energy. Sexual energy. Intimate energy. It is 80% mental. Guys 40+ should have a couple of decades of experience by now. Instead we have guys lamenting their “performance” or their need for viagra or blaming everything on porn cheating wives and sluts who don’t call them back after a few mediocre dates 😂 [/quote]

Brother thanks for sharing your tips. I need them lol. You have made some good points. I have strong erections 7 out of 10 times so sometimes I kind rush lol while the erection is still strong. But like you said the key is the continuous exchange of energy..[/quote]

I’m the guy you responded to. Maybe we need a new thread. But I’ll respond here. The problem is that most of us (guys and girls) look at sex as a goal .. goal to reach orgasm or orgasms. Just to get off. Even the OP here just seems to want to casually get off with multiple partners. nothing wrong with that. Though some suggested she is doing that just for validation of her low self esteem. You my brother just want to get off while you have an erection because you know the next time the erection might not last or be strong enough. I’m not judging you or the OP but I feel reason why most of us are left unsatisfied with sexual encounters (casual or long term married or whatever) is that it’s just a process not too dissimilar to masturbation. There is no deep connection or real intimacy. You can have an amazing connection and deeply intimate encounter with a ONS ! Believe me you can! How many of you have? 0.1% maybe? You can have amazingly meaningless and boring sex with your long term partner or spouse. How many of you have had this experience? 99%?

If married for a long time and having sex can be a chore for some or a step above rubbing one out in the shower.

When was the last time you had an amazingly ecstatic deeply intimate sexual encounter?

We are all so busy in life we try to rush through everything even the most pleasurable experiences. Deepest connections.

When I have sex it is not a performance that I might have anxiety about. Believe me I know what being almost 50 is like for a guy. Those hard ons are not what they used to be. That doesn’t stop me from “performing” lol for hours because it’s not a performance. It’s a journey. Like I said in my earlier post it’s an exchange of energy. Exchange of feelings, looks, touches, wishes, desires, kinks, etc.

I only discovered truly blissful sex after 40, after divorce. It was with a partner that I felt was my sexual soulmate (lol again) but it’s nothing like that. An amazing sexual experience or relationship or encounter can be had with most anyone you have a mutual attraction to. Get out of the mindset of having to rush to the big O and enjoy the journey into sexual ecstasy

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PP are you talking about Tantra?[/quote].

I had no idea what this was when I started my journey to sexual ecstasy 🥰 for me it just started with someone who could not stop gazing into my eyes for hours on end with deep and slow kisses. Her gaze, her giggles, her touches gave me a perpetual hard on. We would go at it multiple times and tap out 3-4 hours later. But the more we slowed down the pace the longer deeper snd more intimate the sessions evolved into some unbelievable sex journey. Weekends would be all day literally all day sex. And somehow my hard on at hour 8-9-10 would be stronger than at hour 1-2.

Then I read about this tantra sex thing and it seems similar but I wouldn’t call it exactly the same. I’m not into meditation while having sex. but yes the experiences I have can be meditative sometimes.

I believed it was just this one person who I was completely sexually compatible and satisfied with. But it’s not the case. Now that I know what I’m doing I’ve had another dozen partners with whom I’ve had similar ecstatic experiences. I do tend to lead and dominate a bit (not in the bdsm type of way, just in a leading kind of way) and the women cant help but submit (again not in bdsm kind of submissive way lol just to be clear) to hours of endless pleasure. My experience has been older more experienced women are more into this and the younger ones are goal oriented: get and give an orgasm or two and be done. Sadly youth is wasted on the young 😭

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