Reply to ExDH marrying AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is it on the victim to be the better person?  What about the guy who cheated?  He was certainly not the better person.  Why should his shitry actions be hidden and protected?  And certainly the other woman has no right not to be bad mouthed.  
Depending on kids ages I think it’s ok to be honest about how this couple met and that you are hurt by their relationship.  [/quote]

It is on the parent to be a responsible parent with the kids' best interest in mind no matter what has happened to the parent.  There is no need to hide anything, but it would be horrendously destructive for you to speak poorly of your childrens' other parent in front of them.  Grow up and be a parent.[/quote]

Why does the parent who cheated get a pass for cheating and causing an event that is horrendously destructive to their family and children? Why does your advice “grow up and be a parent” not apply to them as well?

“It is on the parent to be a responsible parent with the kids' best interest in mind no matter what has happened to the parent.”

Would that include not cheating on your spouse? How is sneaking around and having an intimate relationship with a person who is not your marriage partner being a responsible parent? Is it in the kids best interest to do that? [/quote]

They don’t get a “pass”. Once the children are old enough to ask questions, you can tell the truth in an age appropriate way that doesn’t make the children bear the burden of their parents behavior.  Not destroying your children’s innocence at young ages is not giving their parent a “pass”. Your kids will decide what impact their parents behavior should have on their long term adult relationship with their parent.[/quote]

The children are already bearing the burden of their parents’s behavior.

The parent who cheated destroyed the children’s innocence.

[/quote]

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