Reply to 9yo DD left off invitation WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is NO ONE listening to the Jewish people on this thread?
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Customs don't trump rudeness .  [/quote]

But it's not rude if it's the accepted norm in the culture/religion of this ceremony. This isn't a birthday party--it's a very very important religious ritual to specifically observe a child changing into an adult.  If you're offended it's because you can't look outside your own ideas of how YOUR culture does things. But that's ridiculous. You'd probably be offended if a Muslim came over during Ramadan and turned up his nose at the lovely food you offered.  This is a religious occasion and I bet a zillion dollars that none of the "offended" PPs are Jewish.

If you and/or your DH want to decline the invitation, go right ahead. Nobody is saying you have to go.  But it would be very ignorant to nurse a grudge over this. [/quote]

Actually, posters are saying that if OPs entire family doesnt go, THEY will be causing a rift in the relationship.  I think that's bull. If anyone caused the rift, it's the neighbors by inviting all but one family member.  And no one should dictate what's offensive to someone else.  If OPs DH feels slighted, he has every right to.

I for one thinks it's nice to see a father sticking up for his daughter.  I don't think the OP should hold a grudge or even change the way she feels or treats the neighbors, but she has every right to respond that she and her son (or maybe even just her son) will attend and represent the family, but explain that THEIR family culture and norms precludes them from all going and excluding one kid.  Just like they should respect the neighbor's culture, the neighbors should repeat theirs and to et their panties in a bunch that the DH (and possibly OP) declined the invite.  [/quote]

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