Reply to Feel like I have to choose between looking nice and making friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did anyone actually exclude you or say anything about what you were wearing?  Or were you just self conscious be for the first time in your life you weren’t fitting in/they didn’t admire your clothes?  If the former, it’s unlikely changing your fashion will help you make friends and exclusionary people will inevitably find something about you to exclude.  If the latter, sit with that feeling for a bit and use it to develop empathy for others.

And if you want your DD to get invited to more birthday parties, start inviting all the girls her age to play dates.  That’s much more important than what her mom is wearing.[/quote]

No one said anything about my clothes. DH said he felt like it was a problem that we weren’t wearing what they were wearing. He thought we weren’t signaling the right things so they weren’t interested in talking to us. I’m interested in talking to all kinds of people and I frequently do.

Oh, well. [/quote]

It sounds like your DH and you just aren’t used to either fitting in or being looked on as better than your peers.  There’s as entire world of people who don’t aspire to look “cute” or “put-together” at a kid’s party.  It’s possible they thought you guys were kind of high maintenance or it’s possible (even likely) that’s this judgement is all in your yeads.  Either way: play dates not fashion are what will generate invitations for your daughter.[/quote]

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