Reply to Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think what you require the sibling "to do" is not a necessity. If your elderly parent or grandma is still wanting to go to a beauty salon, she isn't helpless. Where are her friends? Why is she computer illiterate? There are lots of suggestions (order groceries online, go by uber etc) that work, but for some reason you want the sibling to do things your way. I can see why there are disagreements. [/quote]

It's clear that sibling #1 is doing too much and sounds quite controlling. Sibling #3 is not obligated to do all these unnecessary things. Are you all suggesting somebody have dinner with parent every single night? That's way too much. She is a grown woman, who clearly has still has all her faculties. She can eat alone most nights. Sibling #1 is probably smothering her.[/quote]

Nobody has suggested someone eat dinner with mom every night.

We’ve suggested a million different ways the unhelpful one could do something that would be at least somewhat helpful.

If you are too busy to ever take responsibility for a medical appointment or haircut, then how about swinging by for dinner when your kids don’t have an activity? Better yet: bring the kids! Pick up McDonald’s for all I care. Just do something..:anything.

But it’s easier to just pop by for 20 mins once a quarter. I get it. [/quote]

A daughter here.  Let me guess: 2 daughters are helping and the son doesn’t.

Get used to it.  He won’t change and you won’t get your mom to hate him for it.  Classic.  You need to let go of the anger.  If it makes you feel better, his wife will likely be doing all this stuff for her parents and he’ll be picking up the slack with his kids.[/quote]

IME, when his wife does this stuff for her parents, he'll complain about how burdensome he finds it to keep things running at home. He'll ask why her siblings, especially her brother, can't do more. [/quote]

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