Reply to Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nonsense. "Help care for your parents" is as unclear term as it gets. Making sure a parent has food to eat versus taking them to a beauty salon to get nails done is very different. If someone decides to make their lives all about an elderly parent for whatever reason, then it's up to them, but it's ridiculous to complain about siblings not helping in caretaking, when the "caretaking" is about taking the parent to a beauty salon, as the OP complains about. [/quote]

Why is the salon hitting a nerve?

If your elderly mom no longer drives and is starting to decline, then she will need all kinds of help…particularly if the goal is to age in place…at least initially.

If the good siblings are stepping up to do the heavy lift and all that is left to do…or the only things that can be scheduled around the unhelpful sibling’s schedule are things like a trip to the salon (because even the elderly need a haircut every now and then), then why is that so problematic to you?

Doesn’t matter anyway.

The unhelpful sibling has made it clear they are too busy to do anything remotely helpful. They recently stopped by her home unannounced and empty handed. When a sibling gently suggested it would have been helpful to have a heads up because they could have picked up her medication at the pharmacy (which was on their way) and saved them a trip, they came back with, “Well I brought in the mail so that saved a trip.”

Needless to say, we are so done with our clueless sibling. It almost feels like a big F you to us at this point.

If you want to defend this behavior, go ahead. No rational person will agree with you. [/quote]

You are so angry that nobody on here is agreeing with you. So instead of fighting back, why not take a step back, rationally, and reexamine your behavior? To me, it sounds like you and sibling #1 are laying groundwork for getting mom to disinherit sibling #3. You better be careful about how manipulative you're being.[/quote]

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