Reply to Rant: “you look amazing”

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "Rant: “you look amazing” "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments![/quote]
You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting. [/quote]

Yeah street harassment by leering men and complimenting a post partum mom are totally the same thing. [/quote]

They are symptoms of misogyny and the objectification of women, and ALSO expecting women and girls to take unwanted comments about their looks in stride and without complaint.[/quote]
There's also the element of "Thank god you look superficially like you're holding to together so I won't have to: 1) offer help 2) have an uncomfortable conversation with your husband about stepping up 3) give unsolicited advice/observation that you don't look like you're coping 4) call CPS etc etc etc etc [/quote]

You know, this is part of the problem with this conversation. Tone is EVERYTHING here. "You look amazing" to a woman a few weeks postpartum can mean so many things:

1. You actually look amazing, I am stunned by your beauty.
2. You look amazing... for a woman who just had a baby. Meaning you look like crap but maybe a little less like crap than I thought you were going to.
3. You look amazing and I resent you for it because that's not how I look postpartum.
4. How you look is irrelevant to me, but I want you to feel good so I will say you look amazing.
5. Oh good, you look well, one less thing to worry about.

I think the problem is that everyone will claim they are saying #1 (honest) or #4 (kind), but sometimes it's #3 (resentful/jealous) or #5 (selfish). #2 cuts both ways -- this is either kind because hey it's better than saying you look like crap, or it's obnoxious because you can tell they mean it as a backhanded compliment.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics