Reply to Angry at sibling for abdicating her role

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've assumed all along that OP is a troll. Certain lines just hit that way.[/quote]

I thought so too initially but she's been back earnestly making her case and said she's posted about this before. I think she's a real person who is a bit selfish and feels like people should be siding with her.[/quote]

I think, unfortunately, so many of us responding have similar siblings, who have such a bizarre take on caregiving, and “abdicating” responsibility, that it rings true.

My mom is starting to decline, and my brother (who lives on the opposite coast and rarely visits) suggested that I sell my own house to free up money for my mom’s care and move in with her to be the primary caregiver, so her house wouldn’t need to be sold to pay for her care if/when she needs skilled nursing care. I’ve remote worked for years, which translates to my brother thinking this is the perfect set up.

My brother is in his 50s and has zero retirement, and is counting on mom’s house as his retirement fund.  But he’d still want an equal share in her house and would likely want to sell it the second she passes away.  So then I’d be significantly poorer and homeless if I agreed to his grand plan.

Utterly.Delusional.  And he gets mad that I don’t want to even entertain it.  Fortunately, I have medical and durable POA for my mom, put in place many years ago, so I’ll be able to sell her house if needed to pay for quality care as long as possible.  And this shouldn’t come as a surprise to my brother, but just like OP, he’ll act shocked when his plan doesn’t come to pass.[/quote]

Wow. I'm speechless with this one.

We all could've used even 4 digit inheritances from our parents, but it wasn't to be (they worked hard their whole lives, but not every job comes with great pay and benefits). But none of my siblings tried to scam each other or our parents.

And great that you know how you will be left if you were to follow your brother's directions. Too many folks - female adult children - do this and it ends up in a bad way for them - no home and lost years of savings and asset accumulation.[/quote]

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