Reply to Are these comments typical for the age, or is my DD a jerk?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're getting defensive. It doesn't matter what the other kids are saying/doing. Deal with that separately. But the tit for tat isn't good. Are you proud of the things your daughter is saying? If I hear my kids being mean I address it even if they are retaliating. Mean is mean.[/quote]

Of course I am getting defensive. People are bringing up random egregious behaviors they have seen and arguing against those in the same breath as DD. If DD were 9 years old and telling other girls their hair looked dumb or that they were poor and had the wrong water bottle, you bet I’d know that was out of the norm. If they were repeated behaviors targeting one or two kids, I’d know that was a more serious problem too.

I am not defending DD’s comments at all. I think they were unkind and rude and absolutely shouldn’t have been shared. I said I am addressing at home. I wanted to know if her comments were really out of the norm. In other words, is this a typical problem that parents have to deal with at this age, or a bigger one that I should be addressing in a different way?[/quote]

Yes, I think people are telling you to address it regardless. As i mentioned above, the way you are addressing it - the self-reported way- to me gives off red flags that makes me suspect your kid really is a mean one. I would get parent coaching.

I also think people are telling you that if the teacher reports it, it's beyond normal. Maybe not the examples themselves, but the fact that she is reporting it points to the fact that the teacher seems to think there's a larger problem. She could be wrong, but she's probably not.[/quote]

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