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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^I get what you’re saying about lines in the sand. My kid the other day asked me if it was weird that his friend, a HS junior, was dating a girl, HS senior. Huh? It’s possible they’re only a few months apart in age. And, honestly, I thought my kid was kind of off the rails prudish or something, but it’s interesting to me that this attitude is pervasive (and I no longer live in DMV so it’s not just a regional thing).

[b]At the same time, I think that emphasizing consent is a positive development.[/b] It’s been a while, but I was a teen girl once and I’ve got experience with a teen boy/boyfriend who was aggressive and wouldn’t take no for an answer. What did I do after? Pretend it didn’t happen, dated him for a few more weeks and then found a different reason to break up with him. Sort of to save face I guess? And I kind of blamed myself for it – oh, I shouldn’t have been alone with him in the first place.

[b]Hopefully, these consent talks are having an impact on these types of guys? But, really, who knows?  I’m afraid though that the really good guys who would probably make great boyfriends, may see girls as kind of untouchable now and are kind of afraid to get involved with them? And, yet, at the same time, don’t really know how to deal with some of the girls who may be more sexually experienced than they are.[/b]

Maybe the net positive is that they will start dating when they’re older and have more mature, healthy first relationships than I (we?) did.
[/quote]

I agree that consent is a good thing, and that I also don’t know if the guys that Don’t know that “no means no” are getting any benefit from the emphasis on consent.

But I have just seen a lot of… quite honestly—over reactions; that I quite frankly believe are due directly to this massive emphasis on consent. Like a PP’s arm touching example, or stuff like drunken hookups (there is a VERY big difference between two drunk people hooking up, versus a dude plying a girl with alcohol with the intent to take advantage of her) yet younger generations seem to think any alcohol+sex=rape/sexual assault. That’s just.. not true and I think it’s super damaging for us to teach children that if you feel differently about something the day-after when you’re sober—that means you were raped.

Or that consent must be “clearly communicated verbally”, that’s just not how most people are—most communication humans use is non-verbal. Through body language, social cues, vocal tone, etc. this is literally why people on the autism spectrum have SUCH a hard time socially—they don’t naturally read these kinds of things like neurotypical people naturally can.

Or try and explain power dynamics and age gaps. Like these are REAL THINGS. But I don’t think the popular guy one year older than you is the kind of thing we mean when talking about “power dynamics” and “age gaps”.

Because yes, this isn’t a regional thing. This is a very real and highly noticeable trend of younger people that’s popped up over the last couple years. They view tiny age gaps as EXTREMELY wrong and then label people pedos and groomers. Even though it’s false, those are horrible and super damaging accusations.

I dunno, it’s something that just baffles me. Like you are THIS prudish about that kind of stuff, but then cool with polyamory, furries, pegging, etc? Like what?

Then we also have the ever-increasing group of kids that just has no interest in dating at all. It’s so many extremes and they just don’t really make sense to me.

Long rambling post, sorry. One too many glasses of wine tonight.[/quote]

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