Reply to Teen boy, 17, no interest in a girlfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a teen daughter (16) who has no interest in a boyfriend. I think kids these days are just different in the way they socialize. There seems to be a lot less pairing off, and more mixed-sex friend groups. Many identify as gay, bi, trans, asexual, and I think they’re just trying to figure out their sexuality and will eventually adopt more conventional roles - or not.

I think a lot of the delayed/questioning behavior is due to the fact that they hit puberty during COVID and couldn’t socialize in person. Also, I really think kids were deeply affected by the news when they were in late elementary - misogynistic celebrities and politicians, trashy behavior from people in the news, me too, the end of Roe v Wade, etc. I think a lot of our kids are rejecting traditional gender labels as a result. They want to be individuals without being forced into certain roles. [/quote]

I can't agree with this more. They are all so confused.

My kid is exactly like the OP - cute guy, athletic, hangs out & goes to parties, movies, etc. with groups of friends, several girls have asked him out the past few years and he always says, not my type; not really into her; meh, she's already dated a lot of guys I know, etc. I guess he may be gay but I don't think so? He told me once that some girl was texting a friend of his and kept saying "she wanted him (my son) bad" and asked friend to set them up. I'm wondering if he feels inexperienced relative to some of the girls who are asking him out.

He was also telling me last night about the sexual proclivities of a lot of his classmates and, frankly, I was kind of shocked. I don't want to shame anyone's preferences, [b]but he says there are kids in some of his classes who talk about being polyamorous, said he walked into the stairwell one day and 3 or 4 kids in his class were making out together, (he just put his head down and kept walking) and that one other kid in his class bragged openly and loudly that he had been "pegged" by a girl at a nearby school. [/b]

I guess I'm old and out of touch, but I think this is just a lot of info for a 16 year old to take in. When I was in school we didn't share what we did on dates with anyone except maybe our best friend and didn't have sex unless we were in a steady relationship for a while. Times have certainly changed.[/quote]

This is what I mean when I say I’m flummoxed by how open minded and liberal they are—yet if you’re under the age of 25 and there’s more than a year or two age gap between people the older one is a grooming/pedo.

Like, what? I honestly think some of these odd lines in the sand have to do with the massive focus on consent, being a child during me-too, and growing up on screens where groupthink is amplified and you can easily close off to dissenting views.

You can have a four-way make out section and get pegged, but heaven forbid you date someone a year younger than you.

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