Reply to Daughter married a doctor, he’s pressuring her to pay off his student debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I understand the concern as the parent of a daughter who has zero debt because she chose a public education. Yet, unless finances are completely separate, [b]the money is really coming from the same pot[/b]. If he pays directly out of his paychecks, he is depositing less into the pot. If she does, same thing.  The pot belongs to both. Is she concerned about the health of the marriage?[/quote]

It is very important to understand this about money.  I don't know why so many are willfully overlooking this.  All funds are fungible.

The alternative is some kind of absurdity.  Like she has a beach house, but he can't come because he's still paying off his debt and hasn't contributed.  He's driving a 1996 Camry, but she has a new BMW.  She flies to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun while he picks up more shifts.  It's a sham marriage if you go this route.[/quote]

Right? If he's paying off his student debt then he's not spending that money elsewhere be it for savings, contributing more to the bills, or whatever else. There is a finite amount of money and it has to be split some way. Weird that this debt just occurred to the married couple and how they planned on paying it off.[/quote]

That all makes sense. The issue is if they ever got divorced, she should get that money back.[/quote]

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