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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am you, but it sounds like you may be a bit younger than I am.  My kids are now HS/college.

A few thoughts... you have to stop caring what other people think, like, at all.  Maybe you are too young to feel that way now, but it will come.  Also, it's not necessarily about what YOU want... it's about what's best for your family.  At least that's how I think about it.  I've always thought of my family as a unit... not just DH, not just the kids, not only myself, but us as a unit together.  I also have a special needs child, so that has come into the mix.  If DH did not have such a high paying job and there was any question that more money would help, I'd be out there working and contributing financially to the family.  In my (and your) case, that's not where I'm most needed though.  No, I am not "responsible" for DH's success.  To me, that's a sort of ridiculous way to think of it.  I am true to myself, knowing I'm where I'm meant to be, which is the most important thing, really.

For a long time, I thought I'd go back to work as my kids got older.  I was not at peace not working, as at one point career was a huge part of my identity and something I loved, and it was easier to reconcile thinking I was on break.  When people used to ask me about it, I'd say I was considering going back in a year or two.  Now, although I truly do think it's never too late to go back to work... as I get older, my priorities change and a slower way of life is starting to sound more enticing.

I don't want to get into a stay home/working mom debate... but I'd suggest you do some soul searching and really ask yourself what feels right?  And if it's exactly what you're doing, keep doing that and don't worry about what people will think at your college reunion.  You don't owe them anything, nor do you have anything to prove to them.  Ignore the nuanced comments about why you would not work... they're in the same category as everyone asking the single 30 year old women when she's going to get married, or the childless 35 year old when she's going to have kids.  The post by the SMBC resonates with me in that you can't please all of the people all of the time...  so focus on yourself and forget about everyone else outside of your immediate family.  Other than them, there's really no reason to try to please anyone else any of the time.    [/quote]
NP
This is SO true and it applies to anyone who is objectively content with all things except for how they are perceived. There will always be someone who will judge you and another who will judge the opposite choice in all areas of life.

I had to be exposed to extreme judgment and it did a number on my esteem until time passed and I realized how utterly miserably the life of the one passing judgment was (awful marriage, terribly behaved kid, always cranky/bitter) and I let someone so miserable make me feel bad about life that I otherwise enjoyed. If you're relishing in the taste of an ice cream sundae, don't let someone guilt you for it because misery loves company.

With age and the issues coming to a head, I know there is no sense worrying about that road not taken if you only wanted to take it for acceptance or glory. Your distress or disappointment in not impressing acquaintances will steal joy from your family, don't let that happen! This can apply to the wohms who ever feel guilt while otherwise doing really well for their family, enjoy what your happy life is![/quote]

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