Reply to Husband surprised me and I want to cry (not joyful tears)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, any chance any of this is displaced anxiety about the new job or something? Have you been working or is it a SAHM transition? I'd think him for his obviously good intentions then change things without comment. That you feel so emotional seems to be about more, perhaps? Did you not want to take this job, would you rather WOOTH? I mean, an office is shared space too, but maybe you'd like a change of scene?[/quote]

I think it’s clear from OP’s post that she’s got some long pent-up feelings about her identity/space in the house (and maybe the relationship). But that’s why the advice to grin and bear it misses the mark for me. They should be able to speak frankly about this stuff, and it seems likely they haven’t for too long and it’s become a real problem. [/quote]

I think though maybe this view that everyone gets their own personal room is reflective of a certain economic demographic. I would hazard a guess that in the majority of homes, whomever is working from home has a dedicated space for that but that the other spouse who doesn't work from home doesn't have an equivalent space. You need a certain sized home to have two empty rooms so that both people get their own personal room - regardless of whether or not they work from home. I think that is a pretty recent expectation. Would be an interesting poll to see if those that WFH on here who have their own office space have ensured that their spouse gets an equivalent room in the house dedicated to them. I don't think that is too common. [/quote]

I don’t want to project too much, but there might be some missing info here. In my house, my husband doesn’t have a dedicated space (while I do have a WFH area), but as a practical matter he can take up residence right in the middle of the living room and still have more personal space/“me” time than I do, because the kids are constantly all over me. If she was SAHM before this might be even more pronounced. It could be more about identity/role than space per se. [/quote]

There is room for a dedicated space for both.  Husband has claimed his office space because he already works from home and now OP needs hers for a new WFH job. No need for projection. [/quote]

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