Reply to Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s possible. I have leaned way in after my first was born. My husband and I both have no ability to WFH. They are long days but make it work by utilizing every minute and being highly efficient. We use aftercare at school and cook easy meals. Kids play one sport per season (if at all).

Kids are 2,6 and 9. [/quote]

You’re still at the easy ages for sports and activities. It’ll be much harder when your kids are 7, 11 and 14 if you allow them to continue playing sports or participate in extra curriculars. There will be more practices, more games and more conflicts.

I have 3 and the easiest time to be a two parent working family was when all of them were 9 and under. Sure we were tired and the days were long, but it was doable. The youngest didn’t have any commitments and the older two were minimal. Day care/school/after care covered most of the needs and then we’d have maybe one evening activity.

Now the 3 are active tweens/early teens. They all are in a sport now, but the practices/games are 4x a week, at different times and places. We don’t have any local family or paid help and even though I have a flexible schedule, I lean heavily on carpools and other families to get them to their activities.
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You realize you chose the sports. That is not a priority for every family or even wanted by the kids. I have kids in the same age brackets and this is nothing like our schedule. However, they’re still happy, active and have a large friend group. [/quote]

DP. Yes and no to this. As kids grow to express their interests it becomes a balancing act between parental, familial and child self-actualization.   We have 7, 11 and 13. They too go to private schools that will permit them to sample a broad range of ECs.

Our 13 year old was recently asked to amp up his commitment to his school team. He went to his club coach and explained he couldn’t handle all the club and school practices now. In his words it was too much for him. Club coach was understanding and hasn’t “punished” him for it.  Very easy for us to handle this schedule.

Our 7 year old is somewhat of a homebody so far preferring to work on music and arts and crafts at home even after sampling a variety of sports.  Very easy for us to handle this schedule.

Our 11 year old is the “problem”. He goes to an intense, academically rigorous school. Because of its smaller nature and a student body that trends toward nerdy, he’s able to contribute to whatever team he wants to play on. He’s also on the tournament team for his dedicated club sport that comes with an intense time commitment. When he started at his school he came to us and proposed that as long as he was on the second highest honor roll or above, he could do as many sports as he wanted. We explained we would not sacrifice religious observances, family events or reschedule family vacations around sports but otherwise agreed.  This weekend he had three basketball games, two soccer games and a baseball game.

He’s an energizer bunny. If it involves a ball and keeping score, he’ll do it. Most days he gets in the car with his school backpack and two different sports bags for after school practices.

Do we love it? No. But in a world where kids don’t seem to socialize outside as much and where the alternative appears to mean (a) preventing him from doing what he loves and/or (b) socializing around screens, we’ll spend our time in the stands and driving all over the place. My sense is that if he was not this busy he would drive the rest of us crazy.  Not for nothing, he’s developed excellent time management skills and has gotten good at coordinating his own schedule. [/quote]

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