Reply to New girlfriend is blocking access to my best friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a big issue. My once-boyfriend but now longtime best friend is dating someone new. He and I had dated for 2 years, but broke up over his drug use and mood swings (he went to rehab after we broke up). We’ve been best friends over the past several years, and generally talk multiple times a day. I’m married and my spouse is fine with this. [/quote]

Eww. Drama. And your spouse deserves better.

[quote=Anonymous]My friend started dating a new woman 2 months ago who determined that I am a threat, and accused him of planning on cheating on her with me. Apparently there was some drama surrounding hanging out with her ex-boyfriend as well. She and I are completely different. She does recreational drugs, parties, goes to concerts/music festivals, while I don’t drink, use drugs, or party. There’s no way either my friend or I would cheat. [/quote]

The spite and nastiness you show this woman comes through loud and clear in your post. Clearly, you're not a girl's girl.

[quote=Anonymous]Apparently she went through his text messages (there were texts I sent to him telling him to break up with her because she is a bad influence), and is claiming she will break up with him if he talks to me again. Apparently they have been having fights relating to trust (yet they’ve only been dating for 2 months).

I wouldn't want my so-called partner hanging out with meddling people who tell him what to do/who to date/who to break up with either. That you're his ex makes it extra sus. And if she's going through his phone already, 2 months in, the trust issues alone are a death knell for this relationship. You could've stayed out of it completely, like an actual friend, and just been there for your friend if/when it fell apart. No need to speed it along (unless you need drama, which you sure seem to)

[quote=Anonymous]We also work on a side activity together, which we’ve worked together on for years. His sudden departure from our team left me with challenges for overseeing that activity. I know he was really proud to be involved (was showing her our successes on an early date). [/quote]

So you're mad at his new partner? Seems like some misdirected hostility. If he chose to leave, it wasn't the priority to him you seem to think it should be. You sound super controlling.

[quote=Anonymous]FWIW, I’m way more attractive than she is and have known him for years so I guess she sees me as a threat. But I want my best friend back and am not willing to go no contact with him. Advice?[/quote]

Again, not a girl's girl. Your (alleged) attractiveness shouldn't be used as a measurement of how much time/energy someone owes you. She sees you as a threat because you're a trashy, manipulative, overbearing, enmeshed, probably co-dependent drama-starter. If he's your "best friend" (weird, but okay), you should treat him like a friend. He's an adult and doesn't need you meddling or trying to mind his business. Friend, not son, right?

Go away and let him live his life. Damn.[/quote]

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