Reply to Tell me about your decision to stay put in a neighborhood where you were on the social outs

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[quote=Anonymous]I'd been looking for this thread! I remembered reading it, and at the time there was a lot of increasing tension in our neighborhood 'friend' group. Well months later it all came to a head.

It's a long story, but because of a volunteer position I held, I became aware of unethical and illegal actions being taken by another family that we were friends with. In order to save them selves, they started spreading nasty rumors about my family. It was very terrible for awhile, and I wanted to move. Now that close to two years have passed, I'm glad that I didn't.

I learned some facts about people who I thought were "friends". Guess what, most neighbors aren't really your friends - they are friends of convenience. Back in 2022, we were just coming out of two years of COVID, when those of us with young children were basically stuck at home or in our neighborhoods. There was a lot of time spent with neighbors and socializing with neighbors.

I learned who my actual friends are and hang out with them just as much today. Ultimately, the truth about what had occurred came out - despite the family continuing to lie and deny it. However, by now most people in our neighborhood realize that they are liars and bullies, so they're mostly avoided.

Lesson learned - the PP who said to treat neighbor relationships like HR is 100% spot on. Don't get immediately super close with people when you move to a neighborhood - find out more about people, but stay friendly. Like another PP said, there's the gossip, the liar, the "user", the phony. Similar dynamics exist with the husbands.

I made mistakes - I got too close to people, thought people were friends when they really weren't, and was too trusting. I won't do that again. We moved into our neighborhood over a decade ago, and I was younger and more naive about how people really are. The neighborhood family friends also seem to matter more when children are young. Once kids start getting involved in sports and activities, most families aren't around much on evenings and weekends, so there isn't as much time together - which was a blessing for me.

However, now I'm glad I didn't move. I wouldn't want to spend a penny or the amount of effort on moving to satisfy mean-girl and mean-guy bullies who haven't matured past high school levels. There is at least one in every neighborhood, and they're not always immediately identifiable.

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