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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Reply to "Treating ADHD without meds"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would actually be MORE inclined to medicate for social difficulties, not less. There is no such thing as "just" social difficulties to me, or being fine with my child struggling socially because they are "fine" academically. Social struggles are a lot harder to overcome than a bad grade on a test, because that's between you and the material but when you start getting other kids involved, that is when you start having to deal with reputations, ostracism, judgment, etc. Right around ages 9-10 is when other kids start getting a lot less tolerant of class clown behavior and instead find it annoying and obnoxious and start avoiding those kids. Social difficulties make school life much more miserable more quickly than anything else for a child, and that is where the real psychological damage can start. It is also the area the teacher is likely to give less feedback about, or not know as much about, because they aren't hovering on the playground. Teachers are more comfortable saying "Your child is struggling with XYZ math skills/following my directions" than saying "The other boys seem to think your child is becoming annoying and are playing with him less." [/quote] DP. I see posters talking about social problems caused by ADHD but IME my kids with ADHD are not judged by other kids and haven't lost friends because of being annoying. All 7 year old boys are annoying. If some are more annoying than others, kids seem to tolerate it better than adults do. It is also my experience that as friends shake out in lower and upper elementary school, kids with ADHD find each other and are not bothered by each other's annoyingness.[/quote] It has not been my experience that the ADHD kids find each other. One of mine is annoying but fun, also low frustration tolerance. Outbursts which were acceptable at 7 were not acceptable by 9/10, and social groups begin to set in by then, so when you anger your friends it’s not as easy to find another group as when you were younger. My oldest DC has pretty significant ADHD and they have done therapy (twice), OT, social skills group, and medication. We have also done parent training. Things are good now, but we have invested significant time, money, and tears to get to a point where DC can manage their frustration, maintain friendship, and feel good about themselves. Academics have never been the driver of any of this - DC was aware of the impact of their behavior on their relationships but couldn’t manage to change it easily, and internalized it (self harming, negative self talk, in addition to acting out). [/quote]
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