Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your son was parroting comments and sentiments you yourself had expressed. You invited someone to your home only to mock him and enlist your elementary school son in the process. That is no way to treat a guest. You owe him an apology. I suggest counseling to deal with your deep rooted latent hostility and anger towards your family. They’re all obviously fine with their living and support arrangements. You, on the other hand, are seething with rage. Please get help soon and stop attacking those who love you. [/quote]

DH and I are very careful to not talk in front of the kids about my brother. I think it was more that DS doesn't know any grown men without jobs, and was thinking out loud as he struggled to understand the situation. All he sees is my brother sitting or laying on the couch when he's here. He won't even play on the floor with the kids or go outside to draw with chalk on the driveway. Also, we don't invite my brother. [b]My mother calls and announces she's "sending" him over.[/b] He used to try to bring dirty laundry thinking I'd do it for him. DH finally told him after the 4th or 5th time that was never going to happen. [/quote]

This raises a red flag for me.  Is your mom sending him over when she's at her wit's end and feeling resentful?  Or, if he did have a mental illness like bipolar/depression, I could see mom thinking, "oh, he's in a funk, going to sis's house and spending some time with 7-year-old would cheer him up".  It doesn't sound like he's coming because he wants to.  So of course he doesn't want to engage with the kids and gets upset with their comments.

But, I've had two 7-year-old boys of my own and was once a Kindergarten teacher.  Don't underestimate what they will repeat to another adult, even if they don't understand what they are saying.  Also, if they were doing a career day, community helpers unit, even a math unit on money, they will become obsessed for a short time on what grown ups do for work.  And unfortunately, stay at home moms and grandparents are the only ones who don't have to work in their little worlds.[/quote]

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