Reply to Desperately need DH to step up and it isn’t happening

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Should have quit DH , not the job. A judge would make him get a full time job. [/quote]

Op here. He makes okayish money working part time and on paper it is technically a full time job. But in practice he only actually works about 10-20 hours per week, max. He’s in a super specialized tech job and speaks a couple foreign languages and could easily make much more but refuses to.[/quote]

I was team OP until this. Just because he's not hunched over his computer typing furiously for 40 hours doesn't mean he's not working.

As a coder, much of my time is not typing, but rather staring off in space trying to solve a logic problem or bug. Sometimes I need to distract myself from this problem with videos games or a movie, but the problem is always there and I'm subconsciously working on it all the time.

OP's DH may have a similar job, and he may  not be the parent that OP pines for, but he doesn't sound like a deadbeat.

[/quote]

I know plenty of techies who brag about only working 10-20 hours a week making 6-7 figures.

I wish I could distract myself with a movie while I work and get paid for it. Can you imagine if a surgeon did that?  Or a lawyer during a trail?  Remember that judge who was on her cell during a trail recently.  "I am subconsciously working on your heart transplant as I play Fortnite in the operating room."  :roll:

Her husband needs to step up and if that means get a new job or get another tech job so he is working 20-40 hours instead of 10-20 then so be it.

OP sounds like your husband adds nothing to your life.  Divorce him.  I know it will be hard, but if you stay in the marriage he is another child basically that you have to support on all levels.  [/quote]

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