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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD13’s best friend comes from a LARGE family. They only host DD I’d say 1/20 visits. I often take them to an activity (think movie, to the pool, to roller skate, etc.) and it usually involves feeding them, even if it’s including her in our dinner. The girl never comes with money, and if I suggest something and tell the mother the price, it never fails that she can’t go. It’s the ONLY time her mother doesn’t let her come over, ironically. So I usually end up paying. But it adds up, and we aren't exactly “wealthy”, sorry to say. We never experienced this with our other kids. [b]If we tell DD she can’t come over as much she freaks out! [/b]Do we just budget and essentially make this girl one of the family and accept that cost for DD, or do we implement limits? A dollar amount limit? Like, we can spend $100 to have Larla over this month? Help![/quote]

Why does she have to come over less? Can't you just plan low cost activities? IE she's welcome to hang out at our house anytime but expensive outings have to be limited because neither of you have the budget for it (her friend is not willing or can't pay and you can't cover two kids all the time). That's a great lesson for your DD to learn! She's freaking out because she gotten used to you just footing the bill for all these fun things and now you're pulling out. And it makes sense why you would because these things add up. I think you need to transition away from expensive outings and move towards things you are comfortable spending on.

Ideas could be:

- they bake cookies or cupcakes (you pay for the supplies)
- at home manicures or spa activities
- make your own pizzas
- s'mores and movies at home
- go to the pool but pack lunch in a cooler
- window shop at the mall (maybe offer to buy a drink at Starbucks)
- making friendship bracelets, tie dye shirts or bags, crafts, etc
- go bowling on half off nights
- cook together (again you pay for supplies)
- do an online painting class

Some of these things do cost money but they are much less expensive than going to the movies and having dinner afterwards. Your DD has to decide if its worth it to hang out with that friend or if she would rather do expensive activities. It's probably something she's going to experience in college anyway.[/quote]

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