Reply to Heartburn from being full pay

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "Heartburn from being full pay"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the commiserating comments. I would never say any of this to anyone IRL so it is helpful to have DCUM to bounce thoughts off of.  I realize how fortunate we are (through hard work along the way of our own), but the PP is right who said we still have to wonder whether we are making the right financial decision.  Esp. because DD is not currently into finance, law, engineering etc. so the fancy degree may or may not pay off in the long run.  In the end, yes, I would sacrifice some vacations to let DD go where she really wants even if we will never know whether the investment pays off, if that is even the goal.[/quote]

I may be the PP you're referring to, and for what it's worth, I think you should lean in and choose to feel great about the decision you all made!

I'm just one person, but I'm the first in my family to go away to an expensive private college. (My parents were both the first in their families to go to college at all, but they did it by living at home with their highly dysfunctional families while working their way through city college at night.)

But from the start, my parents truly believed in the value of "elite" college experience. They started saving for college before my siblings and I were born, and they chose to work their butts off and live below their means at every stage to save enough money to offer us full tuition to whatever college we chose. They did so well on this front that we received no financial aid at all - it was full pay all the way.

My siblings and I knew at the time what an incredible gift that was. And as adults, we now understand even more what they gave up to provide it (both time, in terms of their work, and all the other things they could have done with that money!) But we also knew then and know now that it was also an expression of their particular values and their way of demonstrating their love and belief in us.

Other parents joked with ours about how they could have sent us to our state college AND gotten us each a car for so much less money than the schools we chose. But my parents always said our insane tuition was "the best money [they] ever spent.

That statement (which we've heard multiple times) and their approach to paying for college helped us to feel good about our choice (not guilty) and to value our college experiences from start to finish. We went on to become (and remain) financially self-sufficient from the day we graduated college, even when it meant living more humbly than some of our friends (and our parents' standard of living in the beginning.) We were ok skipping some of the luxuries/experiences around us because it meant we were standing on our own two feet (albeit with the HUGE head start our parents gave us with college.) And these days, we are all financially secure, well beyond what our parents ever imagined back in night school 50+ years ago.

Anyway, I'm just one person and we're just one family. In no way am I saying that payiing full price to your DD's dream school is the only good choice you could make here. Others might have chosen a different route, with great outcomes, too. But the one your family chose will bring it's own upside. Drop the doubts and trust your judgment. Over the next four years, help your DD learn what she needs to in order to be financially self-sufficient when she graduates, even if it means making some compromises along the way. (Entry level jobs and lower-paying career choices mean a lower cost of living. It is what it is, even in the age of Instragram.)

And above all else, keep showering your DD with support and cheer her success as she moves forward with the school she chose. Keep on appreciating the fact that you can afford this path. Yes, it required hard work, but so many families work equally hard and still can't afford it. And trust that this will pay off for your DD and others in ways you can't even imagine at this stage. There are so many ways to raise a happy and successful adult. Congratulations on the path you all chose! :)

[/quote]

The economics of yesteryear and current day are vast.  Your parents could have done public plus a car.  These days you can do public plus a quarter of a million dollar down payment [/quote]

Or, if you can afford it, you can do private and a quarter of a million dollar down payment. Plus I think you’re wrong if it’s OOS. UCLA and Michigan OOS are 75k+ . Maryland is $65k OOS.  So savings is $40-80k (if no merit from a private) not $250k unless going in-state and at a cheaper in-state. UCLA I believe is $55k in-state.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics