Reply to Betrayal trauma

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Betrayal trauma "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I will never be able to trust anyone else the way I trusted him — not because I think everyone is a liar and a cheater who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves, but because I’m more fragile now and need to wear an emotional suit of armor the rest of my life because I no longer trust my own judgment.[/quote]

I feel this way too. For me it was n[b]ot just one person in my life who betrayed me but several -- two people who cheated but then a number of "friends" who helped conceal it or, in several instances, claimed they wanted to protect me from the truth. There was over a year of gaslighting from about a half dozen people in my life. And real gaslighting -- I was struggling with mental health during that year and paranoid, as I felt that something was not right and that people were talking about me behind my back. I could just sense it. And when I'd bring it up, they would talk to me like a child who was overreacting to something, deny point blank that anyone had discussed me when I wasn't around, even accused me of being self-centered to think this. When it all came out, I think my rage at being lied to in that way for so long was much greater than my anger over the cheating. The cheating almost felt beside the point by then.[/b]

I am a different person now. I have a therapist I confide in but I do not allow myself to get close to other people and I do not show vulnerability to them. I feel that any vulnerability I show will be used against me or exploited. I am not sure my mental health would survive it again. I have made my circle intentionally small and even that group I keep at arms length.

I am not sure I'll ever have a 24 hour period in which I don't think about this incident on some level. That's my goal though. I have a milestone birthday coming up in almost two years and my goal is to give myself freedom from this ugly thing that happened. I'm trying out hobbies, volunteering, planning a big trip for myself, and pouring myself into motherhood with the goal that by the time this birthday comes, I'll be able to go at least a single day without thinking about, and feeling defined by, this horrible thing.[/quote]

Sorry to hear this pp

And yet....in the other thread people are saying "ignorance is bliss" and not to tell the wife of the OP's husbands best friend who is having an affair for eight years. People saying let it go.

Just let her live the lie I guess?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics