Reply to This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?

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Reply to "This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It strikes me that he is struggling with this supposed incompetence in "pink" areas; in other words, tasks that misogyny has historically relegated to women -- cleaning and child care. I say supposed because I think I agree with you; that he likely just doesn't want to do it.

I don't know what you do about this. It has got to be hella frustrating. [/quote]

OP here and yes, this is a pattern with him. Sometimes he'll even vocalize it like "ugh this isn't very manly" if he's doing something he thinks of as feminine. We've talked about it and he knows this attitude is toxic and sets a bad example for the kids. I think the feigned is something he may have developed in response to this, like he wants to say "ugh no that's a woman's job" but knows that's bad so instead he's like "huh, too hard, I can't figure it out."[/quote]

You probably should have titled your post with this.  You would have had different responses.

My husband does this sometimes too.  He’s also 45.  I think younger men are better about it.  It’s not that he’s a bad guy or a narcissist.  He was just raised in a misogynistic culture and it comes out in these little day to day interactions.

I read Claire Keegan’s “Late in the Day” recently, and the protagonist reminded me so much of my husband.  A friend of mine also recommended “Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them.”

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