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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I loved my MIL, may she rest in peace. I made more effort to see my MIL & FIL than my DH (their son!). Not because he wasn’t loving, but because he had a lot of work, they lived far away, it was a conscious effort etc. But I truly considered them like parents. We come from a culture where family is a priority so that helps. Also MIL and FIL always treated me like a daughter. That helped too! [/quote]

Same here (I'm the PP above you!), but this is also what makes me nervous about just having sons. I was also the DIL who did more work to get us together with DH's family. I can't count on having a DIL or SIL who will do that if and when my sons get "too busy." [/quote]

What are you and your partner doing to model the behavior that:
-Men call their parents
-Men remember birthdays/holidays
-Men make plans and issue invitations
-Men send kid pics
-Men are the main "planners" for their own family of origin

Are you doing that? Yes or no.

Are you also modeling that:
-It's OK to be gay
-It's OK to be single
-It's OK not to get married
-It's OK not to have children of your own

Are you doing that? Yes or no.[/quote]
This seems like a pretty good list.  My husband is close with his family, close with my family, and generally aces at the first four bullet points and “OK to be gay” from the second set. He wouldn’t shame or disparage our kids if they ended up single, but he’d be sad and probably wouldn’t hide it well.  Adopted kids or stepkids would depend on the kid and parent relationships.

I have no doubt we’ll be close to our boys and their families when they are grown. My DD and I are less emotive than the guys, but we like having them around.  I foresee lots of inter-generational bonds. [/quote]

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