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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did the therapy not help?

You say a doctor wouldn't prescribe ADHD meds for him, why is that?
[/quote]

Op here. The first therapist I felt really bought into the narrative that I am a controlling shrew and that DH is this well meaning dad who just can’t meet my unreasonable expectations. She would side with him. There was data I could have presented to help her understand the level of neglect, but I hesitated to share that information because I didn’t want CPS involved and worry that she’d have to call them if I told her some of the incidents that happened.

The second therapist was more balanced and I thought maybe could have helped us but mostly we’d go to therapy, bring up a bunch of bad feelings, never get to any resolution, and the bad feelings would just linger until the next appointment. Also,DH would put on a show of participation during the session but I did all the work: all the scheduling, arranging, insurance, finding the therapist, etc. It was just another thing I was forcing on my DH and that he was doing to shut me up. I don’t think he actually wanted to be there or believed we needed it.[/quote]

Ok. And the meds?[/quote]

Op here. Doc didn’t want to prescribe adderall without establishing a relationship and doing neuropsych testing. DH didn’t follow up. I had to drag him to the appointment to begin with. I don’t have the energy to keep forcing him to go back and he doesn’t view it as important.[/quote]

I think it's either this or you're headed for divorce, honestly. Your DH sounds in denial of how bad things have gotten and you need to find a way to wake him up, without doing anything unsafe for the children. I'm not sure what that is. Sorry. I think you need to see, by yourself, a therapist specializing in ND adult relationships.

Are you looking towards adopting this child? Since the child is your DH's bio relative, what does that mean for child support if you have primary custody of all three?[/quote]

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