Reply to Engaged 8 years. I am 50.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this you, OP? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1093299.page[/quote]

Op here.  Yes, that was me.  [/quote]

Oh for heaven's sake. i just slogged through that thread. OP -- you are not "engaged." The phrase is "engaged to be married" and you are not ever getting married. At least not to this guy. You will not be his wife, and with this you-can't-see-my-will stuff it is clear that he doesn't think of you as a wife and that he won't treat you as one.

The way I see it, you have two choices: 1) Find work. At this stage it doesn't really matter what it is, but try to get in with some good people in a relatively healthy work environment. If things don't work out at the first job you try, find something else. You need to shore up your self-respect and create relationships, even if superficial work ones, with some new people where everyone is accountable for something. You lack dignity in your current situation (not saying SAHMs lack dignity, I'm saying OP does, given her status in her relationship/family). Begin to create a life, or some aspects of life, separate from this guy. Then figure out if you want to work on creating your own stability for yourself and your children with him, or without him. I know what my answer would be, but you do you. Or, 2) stick with the demeaning and pathetic status quo, but stop crying on here about it. People told you all of this the last time you posted, and you did nothing to improve your life and here you are going on about the same situation with your "fiance." You aren't engaged. As soon as you figure that out, you will be better off.

Sadly, my money is on you going with 2. Because you don't really want anything to change if it takes effort. You just want sympathy. No one has sympathy for people living in the same mess year after year complaining about the same thing and not doing anything about it. [/quote]

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