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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "How to get ex to give me back the kids"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You abandoned your kids because your car broke down?? Thats all it takes? [/quote] That’s a little unfair. OP clearly was in a bad way, mental health-wise. It was more than the car. When we first met OP in 2017, she was a SAHM/trailing spouse of a GS-13 FSO whose ex questioned her spending. She found out her ex was flirting with a coworker, got pregnant, left her husband with the kids and came back to the US. Then he sold her BMW, which sent her over the edge. Her mom tried to tough love her into reconciliation for the kids’ sake. Then OP moved to a farm outside Cumberland, couldn’t find work and contemplated become a topless cocktail waitress at a gentlemen’s club. Then, because of the lack of a job, and the fact she couldn’t live off child support, she returned the kids to the dad. Clearly, she had a lot going on. Childless, she went back to school, met someone, graduated, got married, bought a house, and now works for one of the regional health systems. Maybe she has sought therapy for her likely personality disorder. And now she wants her kids back because her life has stabilized. Which is fair. Except the kids don’t live in a commutable area to her. They have lived with dad for years. They are about 6 and 8. They cannot realistically do a regular back-and-forth schedule, and it would be amazingly destabilizing to flip so that OP has primary physical custody. OP is practically an stranger at this point. Even though Dad is probably a dirt bag, and even though Dad’s up for a new assignment, Dad has been the stable presence in their lives for four or five years now. OP, your kids have been through a lot, and it is in their best interest to not rock the boat. If you want to be a part of their lives, you need to try to work with their dad to move someplace jointly, where you can reasonably coparent these kids. Or you need to start making arrangements for you to spend your holidays and summers wherever Dad ends up so that you can spend time with your kids and they can adjust to you on their terms. Your new husband may or may not like that, but if you want a parental relationship with your kids, you need to prioritize them. And you need to be super stable and consistent from now on. That probably means a lot of work with a mental health professional because from the outside, your decisions and actions don’t seem to be rational or well thought-out. It does seem like you have pulled yourself together in the past few years, and you should be proud of that progress. But I think you still have a lot of work ahead of you. Focus on that with the goal of re-establishing a relationship with your kids. Not engaging in dramatic legal battles that will set you back even further.[/quote] Man this isn't a country song, it's a country song album! :lol: [/quote] What is going on with that post? [/quote] It’s the background. OP has been around for a while.[/quote]
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